


Heroes Never Die

by brina452



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Nightmares, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brina452/pseuds/brina452
Summary: After the fall of Insomnia, Noctis doesn't know whether to grieve or to hope. Nyx just doesn't know how he's alive, but that won't stop him from catching up with his prince.





	1. walk through the fire

**Author's Note:**

> aka the last two things I wrote were super fluffy so it's time for some sad. I've wanted to write this for almost a year and finally got the courage to take a crack at it!

Sometimes his nightmares fool him into an illusion of peace.

It’s warm under the covers in Nyx’s apartment. It’s safe in the tight embrace of Nyx’s arms. It’s the soft, lazy kisses trailing down the side of his neck that rouse Noctis back from his drifting state. The scratchy tickle from Nyx’s beard gets a content noise and sleepy smile out of him as he opens his eyes. Morning light pools in from the windows, but the apartment is a fuzzy sight before he blinks a few times.

Nyx doesn’t relent in his kisses while Noctis maneuvers onto his back. They only travel lower. From the curve of his neck and shoulder to the jut of collarbones peeking past the hem of his shirt. Noctis slowly breathes out through his nose. The kisses stop when he touches the arm around his waist, but the crooked smile that greets him stops all complaints in their tracks.

“Hi,” he says through a haze of bliss. He can hardly hold back his own smile when Nyx’s curves further up, or when he leans in closer to gift another kiss. This time it’s slower, and Noctis returns it while his hand traces down Nyx’s arm till he finds fingers to entwine with.

Nyx parts from him but stays close enough for their noses to brush. “Hi.”

“Mm.” Noctis wrinkles his nose. “You have morning breath.”

“Mm. So do you. Deal with it.”

Nyx spites the statements by attacking him with quick, hard kiss. When he pulls away this time, Noctis grins and bites his lower lip, pulling the back of Nyx’s hand to his chest.

“What time is it?”

“A little past ten.”

Noctis groans in disgust, less motivated to move now. “You have guard duty today?”

Nyx shakes his head and brings Noctis’ hand to his lips to whisper against knuckles. “Day off. Which means I can join you for dinner with your dad after all.”

“Got a lot of time to kill before that, don’t we?”

“Never fear.” Nyx moves to trap Noctis under him with a playful smirk. “I’ve got an idea or two. You can even sleep again right after if you want.”

“Yeah?” Noctis raises a brow, grabbing one of the loose braids that slips over Nyx’s shoulder and giving it a tug. “Indulge me, hero.”

The world moves slower when Nyx’s smirk softens into a fond stare. It’s a moment that seems as though it lasts forever, so Noctis lets himself get lost in the pale blue of those eyes. He doesn’t quite understand how any of this is real – a cruel irony he fails to recognize as a red flag. He mulls things over while Nyx cups the side of his face. He asks himself how _this_ is _his_. This moment and this love _is his_.

It was never arranged for him. It was never an expectation from him as heir to the throne. It’s something Noctis earned on his own. Not as or for Prince Noctis. Just _Noctis_.

And that’s all Nyx ever loved him for.

Rough hands pull him into another kiss. Noctis tilts his head back into the pillow when Nyx lavishes the attention to his jaw. He loops his arms around the glaive’s neck to pull him closer. Little nips soon trail beneath his ear, getting a happy gasp out of him. Noctis turns just enough to rest his lips at lips at Nyx’s temple. His eyes fall shut and he relishes in the growing warmth between them, against his neck, in his chest. He parts his lips to say _I love you_.

He pauses when a scent fills the air. It’s the scent of something burning.

Noctis’ eyes flutter open, brows falling as fast as his concern rises. He looks to examine the apartment, noting that the candle and incense on Nyx’s desk isn’t lit. There’s nothing sitting on the stove top and, from what he can tell, it isn’t even on. The toaster and coffee machine aren’t plugged in, either.

But the scent’s there. Noctis knows it is.

“Nyx?”

“Hmm?” The hum’s distracted. Nyx doesn’t even look up, only continues to kiss Noctis’ neck and inch down his shoulder.

How doesn’t he smell it? It’s stronger by the second. There’s something invading the back of his throat, too. Something harsh and irritating every time he breathes in. Like… ash. Nyx’s hands on his hips are warm. Even through the fabric of his sweatpants, Noctis can feel them becoming _too warm_ for his liking.

“ _Nyx_.” He says it louder this time, grabbing Nyx’s wrists to remove them.

“What?! What is it? What’s wrong, baby?”

“What…?” He trails off, feeling the increasing heat of Nyx’s wrists. It wells under his palms until they’re _burning_. Noctis gasps and forces both their hands into view before he pulls his own away.

The breath shudders out of him when he catches sight of Nyx’s: ashen and cracking, veins lighting up with the angry glow of fire. Noctis sits up with a frightened cry while Nyx reels back on his knees.

The illusion is no more. It’s not safe here, Noctis realizes. It never was.

Flames ignite at Nyx’s hands to reaffirm it, engulfing them fully and making him scream. _No, no, no,_ Noctis thinks, eyes widening as those fire veins crawl up the glaive’s arms. They continue to his jaw and to the corners of both eyes. The skin pales under them and withers to the point it appears fragile enough to break from Noctis’ touch.

“Nyx!”

The fire flares from hands to shoulders and Noctis catches Nyx in his arms when he chokes on a cry and hunches over. All Noctis can comprehend is his own panic. Not the scorch of heat on his skin. Not the fact that the small apartment is suddenly crumbling around them. Not the random chorus of gunshots and explosions from outside

_Not like this_. Noctis summons ice to his hands. _Not like this_.

But the flames subdue his magic in seconds. Nyx lifts his head and clings into his shirt with trembling, brittle fingers.

“Noct?” Fear – one of the rarer things Noctis has ever seen from him – floods his eyes. “Noct, please. _Help me_.”

“ _Nyx_ –”

The fear shifts into pain and a scream of agony cuts him off. Before he can do anything else, Nyx’s entire body bursts into flames. A heated force crashes into Noctis and knocks him back. Above his own whimpers and the overwhelming crackle of fire, a single, desperate plea echoes into his ears.

“Please! _Noctis_ , _please_!”

It’s the last thing he hears before he jolts awake.

The pound of Noctis’ heart makes the echo of the plea grow distant. He carefully releases the breath stuck in his throat as he blinks to process his surroundings. It’s dark, but not enough for him to recognize the blue walls of a hotel room. The Leville, he realizes. He’s in bed at the Leville and can hear one of the others snoring softly across the room.

_How is this real_ – the irony clicks in Noctis’ head and almost makes him laugh. _It’s not_. He wants to go back in time to yell that to himself. To warn _Those thoughts are dangerous. Wake up. Wake up!_

Broken noises threaten to slip past his lips. All he wants is to turn over and scream them into his pillow, but instead he swallows and scrubs his hands over his face. That kind of behavior is unbecoming of a prince. _King_ , he supposes…

This marks the third nightmare since Insomnia’s fall. In the span of a few days, they’re already more than Noctis can bear. The first time it was Nyx and his father surrendering their lives to Niflheim as means to spare Noctis’. No matter how much he begged them not to, it fell on deaf ears. He fought through hoards of MTs only to watch both walk away in chains.

The second time he stood helpless in the treaty room while Niflheim drew their weapons. No matter how fast he ran or how much he screamed a warning, he couldn’t reach his father in time. Emperor Aldercapt shot him down with the wickedest smile.

Now Nyx was burning in his nightmares. Noctis sighs and moves to sit up. He chances a long stare at his phone on the nightstand. There’s an optimistic part of him urging to check for a text or voicemail with the name _Nyx_ attached to it. Another part scolds him for not learning his lesson from the previous days. _Save yourself the disappointment. Stop hoping_.

But his heart argues _how_. _How can I? There’s no body to identify. No one to confirm he’s..._

Noctis doesn’t want to even think the word. He reaches tentatively for his phone and powers it on in his lap. The clock reads 3:00 AM. He has no messages or missed calls and he stares at the empty screen until it goes dark.

_Maybe his phone’s broken. Maybe he’s having trouble getting to another. Maybe…_

Maybe he burned. Noctis looks down to his hands to examine them. They’re not cracking, ashen or glowing, but for a moment it feels as if they’re running hot all over again.

_“What’s wrong, baby?”_

The memory makes something in his heart dip and it has him rushing out of bed. Huffing out a breath, he pockets his phone and searches for his boots.

He can’t do this. It’s far too quiet in here. Suffocating, almost, when all Noctis can hear are dangerous, painful thoughts. He might wake someone up if it all became too much for him. He needs noise, movement, something other than these walls. So when he finds his boots and gets them on, he heads for the door and quietly slips outside.

-

Pegglar Outlook’s a different quiet. Even at this ridiculous hour, Lestallum remains lively under its own warming glow. The women fill the market and cafes with mundane chatter after grueling work shifts. The men that have yet to retire wander about the streets and to the select food carts that are open. Though his little spot on the bench feels secluded, he still hears the faint bustle of the town behind him. It’s nothing compared to the endless buzz Insomnia had to offer sometimes, but Noctis decides it’s enough with the view before him.

The Meteor shines blue under the twinkle of the night sky and Noctis finds it difficult to focus his attention on much else. If he stays out long enough, he could catch the sun rise over the mountains. Then, wait till it beams right through the Meteor’s crystal shards. He bets that’s an amazing view. He rarely takes the time to do anything like it and it might distract him from thinking about anything but Nyx too.

Noctis doesn’t exactly think when he swipes at his phone and heads into his text messages. He’s distantly aware his brain’s yelling at him not to, but he ignores it. He taps Nyx’s name and scrolls through _are you okay? please call me_ , the _love you_ ’s, the _be careful_ ’s, the _miss you_ ’s, and everything dumb in-between. Noctis laughs softly, eyes stinging.

He knew no more than a year of loving Nyx. A year of sneaking around; off to their own secret little world. It wasn’t always easy or ideal – like when they were lying to everyone left and right – but it was theirs. Safe from the standards of the Crown. Safe from unwarranted opinions about a Lucian heir gallivanting about with a Galahdian immigrant. _Safe_.

Noctis doesn’t think he ever expected the secrecy to last forever. His father found out after a few months in, anyway. Not facing scorn from the man motivated him to keep testing the limits of fate.

The treaty was the first limit he couldn’t test. It was equally a threat to Noctis as it was a solution for the kingdom, his father and Luna. Nyx knew that and Noctis remembers him refusing to stand in the way.

_“But I’m not giving up on you either.”_

He didn’t understand when the words first left Nyx’s mouth. He didn’t understand how they could possibly work around a political betrothal. He’s still convinced Nyx didn’t even know, but Noctis didn’t care then. All he cared about was the sincerity he could see in Nyx’s eyes, the way he held him close after, and the little things he whispered to assure him.

_“It’ll be okay.”_

_“I understand.”_

_“We’ll figure it out.”_

_“I love you.”_

Current circumstances make him think they were never meant to figure it out. Noctis was never meant to have this _one thing_ for himself. Tears fall at the thought, but Noctis bites his lip and shakes his head at himself. He’s acting as if Nyx is dead when he has no way to know for sure. Somehow, not knowing feels worse.

It prompts more tears and a fragile whisper to no one in particular. “Please…”

-

He doesn’t pay attention to the clock, but he’s stared at the stars for so long he swears he can see them moving. He had yet to see the sun rise if that’s indicative of anything. It doesn’t really matter to him, though. A minute or five both feel like an eternity to Noctis.

He’s told himself several times not to expect his phone to buzz with a call or text, but the way he grips it tight atop his bunched-up knees betrays that. Not that Noctis dares to acknowledge it.

His eyes are wet and red. He’s so tired but he doesn’t want to dream. He needs to rummage through some things first and find a certain wooden fox figure. It’s the only thing he can think of that could give him some peace. Maybe even a chance to be back home with his father and Nyx without a single damn thing wrong in the world. Gods know he’ll never get that chance now.

“Noct?”

The voice is so calm and soft, but it shocks Noctis right out of his thoughts. He snaps his attention over his hunching shoulder with a sharp breath.

“Iggy…” Waking up his friends is exactly what he wanted to avoid. Making them worry is no better, which he’s sure Ignis did before he wandered out to look for him.

Yet, Ignis looks calm as ever when he comes around the corner to sit next to him. He’s a little more disorderly than usual with rogue strands of hair falling over his face and an untucked shirt that has an extra button undone. Still, he manages to remain the epitome of poise as he crosses one leg over the other and straightens his spine.

“Star-gazing, are we?” He asks, staring off to the silent night.

“Something like that.” Noctis slides his phone further down his lap before glancing to the sky.

Ignis hums fondly and folds his hands over his knee. “Like old times. Though, I don’t believe I recall the Crown City ever being this…”

“Sultry?”

Ignis meets him with a knowing smile, which in turn gets a meager one from Noctis.

He can’t remember the last time he asked Ignis to watch the stars with him. It was always out of eagerness to get out of the Citadel. After his accident, it was an outlet for dealing with nightmares. He remembers Ignis would keep talking sometimes even when Noctis’ only responses were nods and small noises. Sometimes they’d both talk. Sometimes they didn’t say a damn thing. The familiarity of those memories hit him hard and ease some of the tension from his shoulders.

“I, um, hope I didn’t…”

Ignis shakes his head, apparently already knowing Noctis’ train of thought. “Sleep is troublesome recently. I woke up by chance.”

“Right.” Noctis looks down to his lap. They were all hurting in one way or another. He knows he can’t do much about that no matter how much he wants to. At the least, he hopes Ignis isn’t dealing with cruel nightmares.

“How long have you been sitting here?”

“’Bout an hour,” he says after checking the time on his phone, thumb brushing absently over the power button.

“I take it you still have yet to hear from Nyx?”

The casual use of the name has Noctis’ heart hiking his brain processes that, _yes_ , his friends know about Nyx now. Albeit, they haven’t known for very long. It was only because of the treaty. Because the three of them sensed all the things Noctis was hiding behind a mask of apathy. The fear, the pain and the frustration. They questioned him the day before departure, wanting to know what he wasn’t saying and what about the treaty was causing him so much dismay. Noctis resolved then not to keep it a secret anymore. In the end, it wasn’t so much a surprise that he was seeing someone. Rather, the fact that it was Nyx.

It’s still a surprise to him, though, every time he hears Nyx’s name coming from one of their mouths. He didn’t share too much about their relationship. It seemed almost pointless when they were driving off to his political marriage. Now the three of them were probably wary about mentioning Nyx’s name at all.

He nods to Ignis’ question without looking at him, biting back the tears welling in his eyes again.

“It’s only been three days, Noct.”

Hearing the number makes Noct want to scoff at it. It sounds like a lie. Not long before that he was home, but at the same time he wasn’t. Days ago, he didn’t take the time to soak it in as _home_. To treasure it or the people who shaped his idea of home. No matter what his father said to him before departure, Noctis thought he’d see it again. He’d see his father and Nyx. Now he only sees them in his nightmares.

“Took less than that to hear from Iris and Cor.”

“The Marshal was absent from the city at the time of the ceremony. Iris’ safety was a priority to both Monica and Dustin as soon as they knew there was trouble. Nyx was likely…”

“Too busy being a big, dumb hero.” It comes out shakier than he intends. Quieter, too. He tightens his grip on his phone again. “His job revolves around putting other lives before his own. Protecting the Crown and the city. What are the chances for him when all that’s brought to it’s knees in one night?”

In the silence passing between them, Ignis takes a deep breath and stares back at the Meteor. Noctis knows he’s gathering his thoughts in his head and carefully thinking of how to proceed with the conversation.

“The chances may seem slim,” he finally says, though this time he isn’t looking at Noctis either, “but there’s still room for hope, Noct.”

“Are you saying that for my sake or do you actually believe that?”

“I do. I’ve never known Ulric personally, but I know he’s one of the best the Kingsglaive had to offer. I’m certain that a man of his caliber does not die easily. His survival is anything but impossible.”

He’s not wrong. Noctis heard the stories before; Nyx staring potential death in the face and meeting it head on with valor and a cocksure smile. He’s seen the minor injuries before and traced over scars from the ones that were just shy from fatal. For all Nyx’s years as a glaive, all the heroic antics and insubordination, the odds always seemed to be in his favor. It never meant he was invincible, though. Without a sign to tell him otherwise, Noctis fears this is the time Nyx cannot best death.

“Noct?”

He blinks and snaps his attention to Ignis, suddenly aware that there’s tears running down his face again. The look of concern he’s met with turns into empathy. It makes him feel guilty because, gods, Noctis doesn’t want to put this on his friends when he knows they’re hurting too. He quickly wipes at his eyes and sniffles.

“I understand it’s difficult,” Ignis continues, resting a hand on his shoulder, “but you should give it more time before abandoning all hope. Push on. Should you find that you cannot, the three of us will push for you.”

It’s not a cure for his fears or the pain of uncertainty, but it touches his heart nonetheless. Noctis nods slowly, struggling for the right words. “Yeah… Thanks, Iggy.”

“You should rest.”

“Not yet, Iggy. Just… not yet.”

“Would you prefer a moment alone?”

Noctis chews on his lower lip, fingers fidgeting over his phone. It feels dumb to ask. _Childish_ because it’s exactly what he was the last time he ever asked Ignis for this.

“Could… could you stay, please? Like old times?”

Ignis gives him a curt nod, hand slipping from Noctis’ shoulder and folding back over a knee. “Of course, Noct.”

Like old times, they share a comfortable silence that allows Noctis to calm down and gather himself. He’s not sure how much longer he can hold out hope for, but for Nyx’s sake, he’s willing to try.


	2. tell the world I survived

It takes him days to make it out of Insomnia. Days of pushing his fragile body to its limits with every step through rubble and debris. There’s more than a few times he needs to stop to catch his breath, but it proves difficult among the lingering smoke and ash. He decides it’s best to keep moving no matter how much his legs beg to give out under him. With each step, he keeps thinking over those words.

_“We will grant you our light but know that it will set when the sun rises, and the price for it will be your life.”_

Nyx doesn’t know where the deal went wrong. Not that he means to complain about being alive and all, but the mystery of it hasn’t stopped bothering him since he woke up. The Lucii did little to nothing to protect their own city despite granting him the power of the ring. Why would they spare his life after the fact? They almost killed him before he ended up talking his way into their graces.

He doesn’t understand any of it.

But the enigma’s not quite enough to distract him from the fact that his body _aches_ with any movement. The left side of him gets the worst of the pain and he’s got a feeling that it’s all thanks to the ring. Nyx goes to roll up the sleeve of his coat only to realize that it’s not there – again, thanks to the ring.

He turns his palm up to find a white scar running down his forearm. It goes from the dip of his elbow to the joints of his fingers, reminding him of the lightning he could no longer summon to his palms.

He’s been scarred by magic before, always the overuse of his own. It’s why Pelna tended to warn him to _“Go easy on the magic, hero.”_ If Pelna could see him now, the jagged lines on his arms that once thrummed with power, he’d probably yell at Nyx for being an idiot. So would Libertus, Crowe and Noctis. Noctis especially.

Gods, Noctis.

Nyx stops in his tracks along the empty road that appears to never end. He turns around to gaze at the Crown City checkpoint framed by a pink sky and sunset. It’s one of the very first checkpoints leading into Insomnia. The very point where the promise of the wall’s protection once began. The point glaive convoy used to pass through constantly The point Nyx considered sneaking a restless prince past once or twice for a getaway. A point now doomed to remain occupied by Nif infantry and totaled cars.

Noctis must’ve known by now, but had he seen what became of his home? It took Nyx forever to stagger through the city and he had no idea how long it was before he woke up. Noctis may have already assumed his death. Rightfully so. Nyx assumed it too, but he’s without his phone to let Noctis know otherwise.

Nyx sighs at the checkpoint and looks to the sky. Daylight fades before him, the threat of daemons looming if he doesn’t find refuge soon. The fact he’s struggling to keep on his feet is reason enough to get him moving, though his muscles scream at him when he does.

Sleep, food, water… _Six_ , there’s little Nyx wouldn’t do for any of those things right now.

He’s endured worse. It certainly isn’t his first time getting stranded after near death, but there was always something in Insomnia to return to. Now there’s nothing but a shell of a city before him burying the purpose that kept him alive after Galahd. It buries his friends, comrades, king and a man he was once proud to call Captain. It buries his apartment. No matter how small or ratty it was, it was the go-to safe space for him and Noctis, and it held all Nyx’s tangible relics of home.

It’s all gone. Nyx should be gone and buried with it.

Nyx swallows the lump forming in his throat and forces himself to turn away. He winces as he holds his bared arm to his abdomen and forces himself to push forward. He still has a purpose and a king. By the gods, he’ll crawl his way to Noctis if he must.

-

_There’s still enough daylight for a quick look_ he thought. _If I can find just one tomato or something_ he thought. _I need all the energy I can get_ he thought.

_Idiot_ he thinks when he hears the dreadful bellow of, not one, but two iron giants rising from the dirt. He should’ve waited till the morning to look for food. Or, better yet, hunt. He should’ve chose rest over hunger till he could stumble into the nearest town. He’s smarter than this. He’s supposed to be, anyway.

Two iron giants with their flaming stone swords… Nyx is no fool. A show-off sometimes, but not a fool. If Tredd was here, he’d show-off on purpose to incite some friendly competition. He takes the one on the right, Tredd takes the one on the left. Before they know it, they take the giants down at the same time and argue over which one went down first.

But Tredd’s not here anymore and Nyx doesn’t have the strength to take two daemons on by himself. He tries warping out of danger before he remembers that he can’t anymore. He’s left with no choice but to run. He might not be as fast as usual, but he pushes himself as hard as his body will allow.

Then both giants thrust an arm out, roaring as a red forcefield erupts from their hands.

“Shit, _shit_!” Nyx looks over his shoulder while he runs, knowing what’s coming. The power of it hits him twice as hard, circling around him and dragging him back to the daemons. It digs into his muscles and pulls a strained cry from him. He can feel one of them coming closer, it’s large steps quaking the ground under him.

When the forcefields dissipate, Nyx gasps and catches his balance before he can fall to his knees. He bolts as soon as he sees one of the giants preparing to swing its stone sword. The heat of its flames lick at his heels, giving him an extra spring to his desperate footfalls.

He spots a haven off in the distance, protective blue glyphs shining through the dark. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel for Nyx. All he needs to do is keep moving.

-

“Stupid dualhorns,” he mutters, rubbing at his chest while he stares at the haven’s fire.

His body was already aching before he ran into the pack _right after_ he managed to escape the giants. After his back and gut had the less-than-fantastic privilege of meeting the creatures’ horns, any little movement has Nyx taking the Astrals’ names in vain.

He lies beside the fire on his back and with his arms crossed under his head while he stares blankly at the stars. The ground is a little uneven and terrible for his back, but he’s sure he’s slept on worse before.

_Count your blessings_ he reminds himself, something his father always told him sternly. Even after he passed away, Nyx’s mother made sure he never forgot it. He likes to think they’d both smile at him for choosing to recognize that it’s quiet out. Nothing but the calm sound of a crackling fire and the chirp of insects. He’s safe for the night, warm, and gets to rest under the stars. Most of all, he’s alive.

Nyx draws in a deep breath and closes his eyes. As soon as he drifts, he can hear the barrage of Niflheim’s weaponry. He can see Libertus hovering over Crowe’s cold, scourge stained face. Pelna being thrust down an airship corridor and landing at an unnatural angle. King Regis gripping at the blade that runs him through, using his last breaths to urge him and Luna to _Go_. Luche shooting and kicking him like the years they served together meant nothing. Drautos holding him up by the throat, not even faltering when flames burst from Nyx’s body.

Then, above the rumble of collapsing buildings, the sharp clash of weapons, and the shrill of Niflheim’s daemonic weapon, his own voice surfaces.

_“My life is nothing. Giving a future to those who want to see it… is everything.”_

When he opens his eyes, he’s sweating and there’s a chill running down his spine.

He nearly lost his life by offering it willingly. He thought it was acceptable and the only way to ensure Luna’s safety out of the city. If it meant she could get to Noctis and ensure that future, it sounded like it was worth it.

Nyx knows Noctis would disagree. He’d be furious at him. _Hurt_ that Nyx would dare say such a thing and deliberately _leave him_ behind—all for a ring Noctis fears he’ll never be ready to wear.

Nyx can never tell him he put the ring on. It’s one of the few things that make sense to him right now. He can’t even imagine the grief Noctis must be going through or the insufferable weight that must be sitting on his shoulders. He’s _king_ now, after all. Piling more onto him than he needs… Nyx can’t do that to him. What Noctis doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

The only thing Nyx needs to do is find him and stand by him no matter what. It’s not much, but the thought is all he has for comfort till he falls back asleep.

-

The sun shines a little too bright for Nyx’s liking today. He’s sweating and tiring out quicker than usual despite his rest from last night – if he could call waking up several times throughout the night rest. His throat’s never felt so dry, nor his bones so heavy or his head so dizzy. It only makes his trek to Hammerhead feel hours longer than it should be.

Nyx visited the outpost before, usually for a short rest stop with the glaives. He remembers Noctis texting him a couple days before the fall, telling him about the Regalia’s breakdown and that they were stuck in the area for a day or so. If Nyx can get a lead on Noctis anywhere, it’s got to be Hammerhead.

The group of hunters gathered near the weapons truck stare at him as he wanders in. Nyx looks down at his clothes. Yeah, he’s dirty and probably reeks of sweat and smoke, but he wonders how bad he must look from their perspective. He notices them muttering to each other while he passes by, but he ignores it and continues to the garage. It’s open just as he expects and the productive clatter of tools echoes from inside.

“Hello?” he calls, noticing someone hidden beneath the hood of a car.

“Gimme one second now!” A friendly voice shouts above the tinkering. He sees the hat with the blonde curls under it peeking above the hood. “Gotta make sure this cap stays on nice and tight… There!” A relieved breath follows. The woman emerges from behind the car, dusting her hands off with a satisfied smile. “How can I help you to –”

She stills in place when she gets a better look at him, smile fading.

“My goodness, you’re a right mess!”

“Yeah well,” Nyx shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, “Ma always told me it’s what’s on the inside that counts.”

The mechanic tilts her head at him, eyes scanning him from head to toe. She steps closer. “Hang on a minute… I know you. You’re on of them soldiers from the Crown City.”

“Name’s Nyx. You’re Cindy, right?”

“That’s me. What can I do for ya, Nyx?”

“I’m looking for Prince Noctis. Any idea where I can find him?”

Cindy’s brows rise. “The prince…” she says warily.

“I know he came here when the Regalia broke down. Please, I need to find him. I… I don’t know how long it’s been since Insomnia.”

“Insomnia, huh?” Cindy examines Nyx once again, fixing her eyes on the poor condition of his uniform. “You’ve just managed to crawl your way out of the city, haven’t ya?”

Nyx nods slow to keep his head from swimming too much. “How long has it been?”

“I’d say almost a week now.”

His heart sinks at the information. Noctis must believe he’s dead at this point. Libertus, too. Gods, what a mess. He looks down at his feet, shutting his eyes when a wave of dizziness hits him.

“Great,” he mutters. “Like I was saying…” The simple act of looking up at Cindy is enough to make the world spin. It knocks him off balance when he tries to regain himself. His feet that have been throbbing and sore for days fails him, but Cindy’s quick to lean in to catch him.

“You, my friend, need to lie down.”

Nyx shakes his head, soon realizing that movement is a mistake. “No, I just need to find Noctis. I need to see him. I-”

“Need rest. Lotta water and a meal too, I reckon.”

“I don’t have any money on me. Please, I need-”

“Hush now.” Cindy’s careful when she leads Nyx off to the side and eases him down on the hood of another car. She places hers hands on her hips, taking a step back. “You’re hardly standin’ on your own two feet. If you and his highness are as close as I’m startin’ to guess, I’ll bet ya he wants you to take care of yourself first.”

“ _Please_.”

“Tell ya what, Nyx. Prince hasn’t been around in the past few days, but I can give him a call if you let me buy you a meal and a bed for the night.”

Nyx opens his mouth but finds himself at a loss for words. There’s something in him saying he shouldn’t let Cindy do that, but the kindness hits him in a way he doesn’t expect. He hasn’t seen much of it in the past week. Or maybe he’s too used to some people turning their nose at him for being an immigrant.

With a wince, Nyx rubs at his forehead. “I don’t know what to say…”

“How ‘bout yes?”

Her tone is so insisting and genuine he feels guilty at the thought of declining. She’s smiling at him, too. If it can help him get to Noctis, well, he’s starving and would kill to lie down on anything softer than the ground.

“Yes. Yes, _thank you_.”

-

Nyx never expected to make it out of Insomnia looking great. He stands before a sink, staring at himself in front of the mirror of a small bathroom Cindy offered to him. It’s been a while since he last saw himself, and now he understands why everyone here gawked at him.

Nyx brushes over the scarring on the left side of his face with his fingers. He jerks them away at first, startled at how rough and dry the skin feels. The pattern’s like the scar on his arm, jagged as a strike of lightning and white. He traces where it snakes up the back of his jaw and runs crooked into his cheek. A slight turn of his head and he can see where it curls around his eye and runs into the scalp of his undercut.

The right side of his face doesn’t appear as bad, and Nyx has a feeling it’s because he didn’t wear the ring on that hand. This scar only runs up near the corner of his eyes. There’s something strange about the damage on his throat and the diagonal mark on his forehead, too. The afflicted skin appears paler than the stark white on the left side of his face, like it’s fading. It’s not as rough or raised either when he touches it.

“So much for going easy on the magic, huh?”

He can picture Pelna and Crowe mutually shaking their heads together while Luche passes by with a nonchalant _“You look like shit, Ulric.”_

He smiles for the shortest moment. Maybe the scarring wasn’t meant to last. Maybe they’d fade away given enough time. He hopes they do because he has no idea how he’ll explain them to Noctis if he asks. Would he even know without asking that it’s the ring’s fault?

Nyx sighs and lowers his hands, refusing to acknowledge the fact that it’s shaking. He begins removing the armor of his uniform, or rather, what’s left of it. It took the brunt of the damage back in the city, protecting most of the standard coat save for his left sleeve. His hood and ribbons are okay, at least…

He shrugs his coat off and lets it pile over his armor. His vest and shirt remain intact. In fact, the only damage it suffers is probably Nyx’s profuse sweating and an unbearable scent of smoke. He turns on the faucet and gathers water to splash into his face, and after a few times he gets a glimpse at his arm. The sight of it again has him grimacing, both hands shaking more than he’d care to admit. He adjusts the faucet to make the water warm, then scrubs at the soot and grime on his skin.

The phantom buzz of lightning prickles under it as he washes, making him freeze up. Back in the city, Nyx didn’t think twice about the power he was granted, even when it felt different from King Regis’. It’s strange reflecting on it now. Too surreal and overwhelming – which is saying something considering all the shit he’s seen.

He still remembers the heat of the fire. With it, the Lucii echo in ear and tell him to _Burn_. Nyx swallows and rubs vigorously at his arm. They wanted his life. They _had_ his life. He knows they did because Nyx _felt_ and _watched_ himself wither away under the light of the dawn—didn’t he?

It wasn’t painful… It was delicate. It deprived him of his senses before everything turned dark. He fucking died.

Nyx yanks his arm away from the running water, pulling in rapid breaths. _You watched yourself die and you were okay with it. What the fuck. What the_ fuck _._

Nyx grips the side of the sink, running a hand through his hair. Of all the times he conquered death, none have jarred him like this since Galahd. He’s not supposed to be here. He’s not supposed to need to find a way to deal with the aftermath. He’s _not_.

_Count your blessings_ he warns. _Pull it together, Ulric_ he scolds because he’s stronger than this. Nyx closes his eyes and coaches himself through deep breaths.

Escaping a death sentence from the Lucii is no small feat. Nyx didn’t take them for the kind to turn a blind eye to such a fluke, either. It takes a few minutes of controlled breathing for him to realize that no matter how bizarre the situation is, he can’t dwell on it like this. If his years as a glaive taught him anything, it’s that dwelling could become his undoing. He may never find out how he survived, anyway. If that’s the case—

_Count your blessings_. Nyx opens his eyes and stares down his reflection. He owes it to Noctis not to question this. He owes it to Libertus to meet back up in Galahd. He owes it to his friends to fight in their honor as a glaive.

In a way, he owes it to himself. The future awaits him, and he doesn’t need to die to continue shaping it.

Nyx nods at himself in the mirror, this time with conviction. He’s got a king to find.

-

Noctis’ phone goes straight to voicemail the first time Cindy calls. And the second. And the third. She settles for leaving a voicemail and tells Nyx not to worry. He doesn’t understand how he _can’t_ worry, but supposedly Noctis running off into mysterious caves for a day or two with his friends is normal. So long as he’s with his friends, Noctis will be fine. Nyx’s patience, however, will not be.

It’s a hunter named Dave who saves it. He originally stopped by Hammerhead to speak to Cid about parts for a weapon enhancement, and Cindy was kind enough to ask him if he’s run into Noctis recently. Turns out she’s right about the cave thing, something about a royal tomb and weapon. The group probably didn’t have good service wherever they were.

And where were they? Dave can’t recall the name of the tomb, but he happens to know where the group’s currently staying: Lestallum. Nyx gets moving the moment he hears the name, but Cindy claps a hand on his shoulder and tugs him back.

“Ain’t much daytime left out there. Even with a car, you’re in no shape to risk it out on the roads at night. Better to wait till the mornin’, don’t ya think?”

Then Nyx remembers how dizzy he is, the ache of his body, the fatigue in the muscles of his legs and feet. It’s one of the rarer times he can’t afford to ignore what someone else tells him to do.

He sighs and slings his tattered coat over his shoulder, turning to her. “Can’t chase after his highness and end up collapsing at his feet, can I?”

“Reckon that wouldn’t be too wise. Might not need to chase far, either, if we get a call back. Point is, Prince ain’t goin’ nowhere you can’t find him by tomorrow. So how ‘bout I get you that meal instead?”

He’s unsure how to express his gratitude for her kindness, but he makes a mental note to return it in full one day. For the first time in far too long he smiles without a hint of sorrow.

The sandwich and fries he’s treated to taste like the heavens and relieve him of his dizziness. He sticks around for a late-night chat with Cindy, taking in a ridiculous amount of water after days of dehydration.

Later, when he sinks into what he swears is the softest bed ever, he has less trouble falling asleep. The grief and guilt can’t get to him tonight, not when he’s this close to seeing Noctis. Holding him, kissing him, loving him… he’ll do it all like he’ll never get the chance to again. He almost didn’t and that’s his own fault.

He’ll never leave Noctis again if he can help it. Nyx makes himself vow it in the dark before he closes his eyes. When sleep has him for the night, he dreams of the prettiest blue eyes searching his in the quiet of a run-down apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what it is about this chapter, but it kicked my ass. I wrote it three times. Three :) Times :) 
> 
> Reunion's coming up next and it might turn out longer than I intend sooo *finger guns* prepare yourselves!


	3. the safest place

“Hey Noct, wanna go for a round of King’s Knight when you get your phone charged back up?”

Noctis yawns as he enters the Leville with Prompto. “Could use a nap first.”

“Dude, you were out for half the ride back from the tomb!”

“It wasn’t even a long drive. You think it’s enough for me to sleep off a whole day in that place?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Prompto grimaces. “So many flans… Ooh, I hope Gladio hasn’t beat me to the shower yet!”

Noctis chuckles, bumping shoulders with him as they head up the stairs. “You shouldn’t have let him and Ignis go on without us then.”

But Prompto was so eager to stop by one of the food carts when they got back to Lestallum. Some were offering free samples as it was, and none of them had a proper meal the day before. Noctis was more than happy to grab a sample with Prompto. He just didn’t realize they were in line at the skewer guy’s cart until he got up close.

The sign on the cart advertised Galahdian style skewers, but Noctis knew before a single bite that it wasn’t authentic. The spices he smelled while waiting in line weren’t quite right. They smelled like cheap substitutes that were similar enough to fool anyone who didn’t know better. It wasn’t terrible, but the meat didn’t sit well in his stomach. The kick of heat in his mouth was weak. The sauce was a bit too sweet, not enough sour.

Worst of all, it brought a familiar ache back to his heart.

Noctis could easily imagine arms snaking around his waist from behind. He could imagine being pulled close and smiling while Nyx whispered, _“I’ll show you the true Galahdian way,”_ in his ear. The phrase came up now and again when Noctis started becoming exposed to the culture. It was only fitting when he determined Nyx would never be impressed with these skewers.

Prompto, not realizing the sign until the last second, asked if he was okay when they were halfway to the hotel. He wasn’t, but Noctis liked to believe that he could fool anyone with a front of perpetual drowsiness. Whether Prompto bought into it or not didn’t concern him too much.

For a whole day he managed to ignore everything by cutting down daemons left and right. A whole day he convinced himself everything wasn’t a mess through team work and friendly banter. Now he’s back to square one doing everything in his power not to break under the pressure of his “calling” as Cor called it. He was trying to push past his grief. He was trying not to lose hope like Ignis advised.

So far Noctis is finding it more difficult than ever to heed those words.

“We should go back later to check out the other food carts.” Prompto says when they reach the top of the stairs. “We haven’t tried those ones in the center of town. Maybe they’ll inspire new recipes for Iggy!”

“The market’s close too if he gets excited about it enough.”

“Exactly! Oh hey, speaking of…”

Noctis follow his stare down the hall, slowing in stride. Ignis is emerging from their room at the very end of it. Gladio’s right behind, huddling close to him and crossing his arms. He speaks in a hushed tone and raises one brow in concern. Ignis strokes his chin, contemplating while he replies. Noctis shares a suspicious look with Prompto.

“Is it me or is something up?”

Whatever it is, Noctis is already dreading it. He scowls and proceeds forward. “Better be another Nif base I can blow up.”

“Guys?” Ignis and Gladio jolt at Prompto’s voice and straighten as they approach.

“Took you two long enough.” Gladio’s tone is as teasing as Noct would expect, but he can tell there’s something hiding behind it. Something important.

“Everything alright?” Noctis is sure to make his suspicion clear.

“Yeah, fine. Just…” Gladio looks at Ignis like he’s expecting him to finish the sentence. The advisor stiffens and gives him a subtle, irritated look.

“What’s up, Specs?”

Ignis gives him his full attention but the silence makes Noctis feel the need to brace himself for bad news. The only thing he can take solace in is that the worst has already happened. No matter what it is, it can’t be worse than Insomnia. Ignis relaxes his shoulders and takes a deep breath, keeping his expression as unreadable as possible.

“You have a visitor.”

“A… visitor?”

“Yes, journeyed all the way from the Crown City.”

“Whoa,” Prompto interrupts, eyes wide. “A survivor?”

Ignis nods at Prompto. Noctis means to ask _who_ this survivor is, but he can’t quite spit out the word. There’s a name on his tongue, a name he could think of mere minutes ago, but it’s lost to him as his heart beats faster and faster.

“One hell of a survivor.” Gladio wears a blatant smirk and cocks his head to door. “Guy’s pretty eager to see you, Noct. He’s waiting inside. You should go say hi.”

The thoughts are rushing into Noct’s brain faster than he can process. He blinks and looks to Ignis for reassurance. Ignis would never let him get his hopes up for nothing, right? He gets nothing but another nod. Face still unreadable. Lips pulled together tight in secrecy. It’s an answer in itself… but Noctis isn’t ready to give into his hopes just yet.

He nearly stumbles when he slips past his friends. The door is already cracked open when he reaches it, so he enters inside without a sound. He can’t shake the sudden nausea building in his gut.

The visitor waits ahead, oblivious to his presence and leaning over the balcony to stare out at the plaza. Noctis freezes at the sight of him, nausea turning into something akin to butterflies.

The uniform—it’s not the coat with the distinct fur and purple ribbons, but it’s _the uniform_. His uniform. His hair. _Him_. It must be. Noct’s breath catches in his throat, voice failing him. All he can think about is the nightmares that have plagued him recently. He can’t give in to another illusion. He can’t melt into the safety of those arms just to get ripped away from them in another second. He needs this to be real.

Noctis shuts the door behind him and the click of it makes the man whirl around. His heart stops.

The scars on Nyx’s face stagger him before he concludes that his mind isn’t playing tricks on him. They’re eerily reminiscent of one of the nightmares and, for a second, he expects fire to engulf everything around him. Nyx cracks a smile and huffs in relief instead, reviving Noctis’ heart so it can dance in his chest.

“Hey,” he says. His eyes look tired, but his smile stretches enough to reach them. “Kept you waiting there, didn’t I?”

Noctis takes a cautious step forward, lips parting.

“So… should I run to you or do you want the honors? You can warp if you want. I’ll catch you.”

But Noctis’ legs move before he thinks to pull a weapon from his arsenal. He’s almost running the short distance between them and Nyx meets him halfway with open arms. In one swift move, Nyx is stumbling as he lifts him off the floor. Noctis steadies them by wrapping his legs around his waist.

Nyx presses his face into Noct’s neck, laughing and embracing hard enough to bruise. It’s never felt more right. _Nothing’s_ felt this right or _real_ in days and it makes Noctis coil himself around the glaive even more. He locks his arms around the back of his neck, fingers tangling into hair to find familiar braids.

Tears prickle at his eyes and blur his vision as Nyx sways in place, slow and from side to side. Noctis is shaking, but Nyx is the right amount of warm to thaw the tension out of him. If he could hold onto him like this forever, he would. He’d never let go and he’d never feel so hopeless and afraid again.

When he’s eased down to his feet, he cups Nyx’s face to trace over the white scars with his thumbs.

“I thought…” The tears start to fall and the only thing that can stop them is Nyx’s fingers wiping them away. “ _I thought_ –”

“I know. I thought I was too for a moment back there.”

“Cor said a lot of glaives were dead… and that Drautos was unaccounted for. I called... When you didn’t answer I thought something might’ve happened to your phone. I didn’t want to think you were- that you…” he shakes his head. “I hated it. I hated not knowing and –”

And Noctis is losing control of his own breath the more he rambles. Nyx leans towards him with a sad smile, resting their foreheads together.

“Hey. It’s okay. I’m here, little prince. I’m right here.”

There was love behind each precious affirmation as they left his mouth. Noctis could feel it as much as he could hear it. He exhales, bowing his head while his teeth clench behind quivering lips. Then Nyx is propping a finger under his chin, tilting his attention back up. He’s smirking this time.

“How ‘bout a kiss to make it all better?”

“ _Please_.”

One tug of a shirt and they’re lost in each other in no time. Noctis presses his lips more insistently with each kiss, urging Nyx not to hold back. He’s longed so much for this for the past week and he has no intentions of being subtle about it. Once Nyx catches on, he’s picking up the pace and Noctis is accepting his fervent kisses with frantic need.

He doesn’t realize he’s backing Nyx towards the bed. Not until the back of his legs hit the edge of it. They’re topple into the mattress, Nyx breaking Noct’s fall for him with a simultaneous yelp.

“Shit,” he laughs. “Missed me that much, huh?”

Noctis eyes fall closed, a single tear trickling down. He trembles with silent laughter as he lays his forehead on Nyx’s shoulder. “I thought you were dead, idiot. _Dead_. What the hell do you think?”

“I think I missed you too… _a lot_. And that I need another kiss. Quick, my life depends on it.

 “Is that so?”

“Sometimes heroes need saving too, y’know.”

“Well when you put it like that…” Noctis dips down to grant his hero one deep, languid kiss.

“Gods, I missed that. I missed _you_.”

“Missed you too, hero. More than you know...” When Noctis notices Nyx’s scars again, the questions begin surfacing past the happy fog of their respite. “Nyx… what happened? I know the gist of everything but… what happened to you?”

Nyx remains grimly quiet, avoiding his worried stare. Noctis can see the exhaustion coming back into his eyes, can feel him tensing. He should’ve let the relief last longer because there’s no doubt Nyx went through hell. To survive that and to journey all the way here on his own… He should’ve given it more time. The second Noct’s ready to change the subject, Nyx is propping himself on his shoulders and pushing to sit up with a pained grunt.

“Are you hurt?” Noct asks, rising with him in his lap.

“Nothing I can’t sleep off. As for the city…” he takes Noct’s hand into his. “Almost feels like it happened to someone else.”

“You don’t have to talk about it. I shouldn’t have asked so soon. I –”

“No, no. It’s okay. I want to tell you what happened. I just…”

There’s a haunted look lingering in Nyx’s eyes, something he doesn’t seem ready to say aloud yet. Noctis squeezes his hand for encouragement and tilts his head at him. He’s given a weak smile before those arms wrap around him again. He understands it as soon as he’s brought close and feels fingers digging into his shoulders.

They just need this moment a little longer. After almost losing it, they need to soak in each other’s presence. Ignore everything else outside of them like before. Cherish the opportunity to touch, kiss and hold.

Noctis rests his head on Nyx’s shoulder, closes his eyes and hangs onto him for dear life.

-

Nyx dreamt of a moment like this back Hammerhead, but nothing compares to the real thing. They lie snuggled under the covers, Noctis’ head on his bare chest, ear pressed over his heart to listen to it beat. Here in the quiet of the cozy night, things feel a little more normal.

It was after his shower and during a meal that he was reacquainted with Ignis and Gladio. He was introduced to Prompto, too, and everything was much less awkward than Nyx anticipated. They welcomed him with kindness, hospitality, and some occasional stammering from Prompto. Nyx figured that last part wasn’t out of the ordinary given the stories he’s heard from Noct.

He was mostly relieved he wasn’t the one that had to explain _a year_ of secrecy to the three. Not that it needed much explaining, but Nyx noticed them watching him closely as he spoke about his journey to Hammerhead. It never seemed hostile. Rather, curious, and he was quick to decide that it was fair. He could tell they were sitting on a thousand questions.

There was plenty of time for them to be answered and for them to get to know him better. There were more pressing things on his mind at the time, though. Like telling Noctis about the city.

He waited until they retired to a separate room for the night. Even then it was hard to get past the initial giddiness of crawling under the covers together. They could hardly manage to keep their hands and lips to themselves for five minutes.

When they settled down, Nyx told him everything short of putting the ring on. Even hearing it recounted from his own mouth, some things still made little sense to him. It made talking about the friends he lost hurt more. It made him angrier about the betrayal when he mentioned the reasons Luche and Drautos gave him for it. The only thing that kept him from losing it altogether was how tight Noctis held his hand through it all.

“I’m sorry,” he’d whisper against Nyx’s knuckles. “I’m so sorry…”

Their roles gradually switched when Noctis asked about his father. Once Nyx heard that first shaky exhale, he secured his arms around Noct completely and let him cry. Between snivels and hiccups, it was Nyx’s turn to whisper sympathies to him. With each one, Noctis would only bury himself farther from the world and further into him. All he could do was make sure he felt safe in his mourning.

“It’ll be okay, Noct,” Nyx said when once the sobbing subsided, “but when it’s not, I’ll be _right here_. I promise.”

They’ve been in a comfortable silence since then. With the hardest parts being over for now, Noctis’ breathing is normal, he isn’t trembling, and there’s no more tears wetting Nyx’s skin.

“So how long before your friends give me _The Talk_?”

“The what?”

“The Talk. The one where they pull me aside and politely tell me they’ll bury me where no one will find me if I ever do anything to hurt you.”

Noctis chuckles sleepily. “Dunno. I just hope they don’t intimidate you the way my dad did.”

“No one will ever intimidate me like your dad did. In fact, I’m having intense flashbacks as we speak so we should drop this subject immediately.”

Noct’s laughter vibrates against Nyx’s skin and it’s the sweetest sound to his ears. It’s the gracious remedy to his tired soul, keeping him sane and distracting him from the ache of his muscles.

Noctis lifts his head and props his chin on Nyx’s chest, curling closer to him. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy from crying earlier, but they’re searching Nyx’s aimlessly. Tentative fingers reach for the marred skin on his face, touching light as a feather.

“Do these scars make me look hideous or what?”

“No. I think you look like a hero. A rugged, handsome hero.”

“So I _don’t_ need to wear a bag over my head whenever I go out in public with you?” He laughs when Noctis smacks his shoulder. “Ow! Babe, I’m still sore.”

“Shit, sorry! I’m so sorry.”

Nyx chuckles, tugging him closer till their faces are inches apart. “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s nothing a little kiss couldn’t fix.”

“How long are you going to milk that line?”

“As long as I can. I did almost die, after all.”

Noctis sighs, laying soft kisses to Nyx’s shoulder, neck and cheek. “Don’t remind me. Do remind me to call Cindy tomorrow and thank her for helping you out.”

“Mm, remind me to call Libertus.”

“You think he’s still with Luna?”

“I don’t know. If he’s not, we know where she’ll be waiting.” He frowns. “ _Ooh_ … how disrespectful is it to bring your secret boyfriend to your wedding?”

It’s meant to be a joke, but the way those brows crease in deep thought make him regret bringing it up. The word seems to startle Noct, as if he’s forgotten that the wedding’s been the reason for this trip all along.

“This wedding was a political branch for peace, but that treaty never got signed.” His brow remains creased, but a newfound resolve fills those pretty blues. “Nifilheim destroyed my home. They sent their spy to kill my father and they stole the crystal. As far as I’m concerned, that means the wedding’s off.”

There’s no sorrow left in Noctis’ voice. No tears left to build in the corners of his eyes. He was so apologetic that first night they talked about the wedding… so unnerved and torn in his emotions. A significant change to the bitterness in him now.

“Wow… you sound serious.”

“I am serious. They took everything from me, Nyx. Luna too. She and I deserve to choose love on our own… and I choose you.”

“Noct…” Nyx blinks, but Noctis grabs his face before he can say anything else, claiming his lips.

“I love you,” Noct runs his thumbs over the scars again. “I love you and I don’t care what anyone says or expects from me. I _love you_.”

It’s the first time either of them uttered the phrase today, but the sentiment’s been an unspoken presence since the second Noctis jumped into his arms. Even so, there’s a flutter in Nyx’s chest like it’s the first time he’s heard it all over again.

“Love you too,” he smiles and claims his lips right back. “Love you too…” and again. “ _Love you too_.” And again.

-

For the first time in days, Noctis goes to sleep feeling safe. It’s the sound of Nyx’s steady breathing that helps lull him there. It’s the strong beat of a heart that drives away the irrational doubts. His dreams don’t taunt him with illusions morphing into nightmares. It’s the best rest he’s gotten in a while.

Yet, a couple hours later, he rouses with the distant feeling that something’s wrong. His eyelids flutter, but he can’t even open them halfway. When he’s conscious enough to register the ragged breathing next to him, they open fully. The breathing stops, and Noctis ponders for a moment if he imagined it.

But then it starts again. It’s louder than before and Noct realizes it’s a bit too hot underneath the covers. The memory of fire floods his mind along with the agonizing scream of _“Please! Noctis please!”_

Noctis is wide awake, sitting up and turning the other way. Nyx is on his back, a sheen of sweat over his neck and forehead as he whimpers between his breaths.

“Nyx?” He grips his shoulder to try and shake him awake. “Nyx, hey! Wake up, hero! _Wake up_.” The only reactions he gets are groans and the pained twisting of features amid restless writhing. “ _Nyx_ –”

“ _No_!” Nyx sits up so fast it’s startling. His chest heaves erratically, eyes expanded in fear, tears streaming down his cheeks. “No… no…”

“Nyx?” He says it softly, but it still makes him flinch. He scoots forward and reaches for his hand. “Hey, breathe. _Breathe_. It was just a dream, okay? You’re here with me in Lestallum. You travelled a long way to get here, remember? Whatever you saw doesn’t matter because _you’re safe_. We both are.”

Nyx’s breaths slow with every word. His teary eyes are fixed on Noct like he’s waiting for something to go wrong, but when it doesn’t, he exhales. The distraught look on his face eases away little by little, and soon he’s lowering his head, squeezing Noct’s hand so hard it almost hurts.

Nightmares were a common enemy between them, but it’s been a long time since Noctis has seen Nyx suffer from one this intense. He’s seen it twice, at least, but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so terrified before.

Nyx sniffles and covers his face with a hand to rub at his temples. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Hey, we have a rule. No apologizing for nightmares.” He moves until he’s flush against Nyx’s side, nudging him with his shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Just go back to sleep, Noct.”

“I can’t until I hear the word no.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“That’s not a no.”

Nyx’s sighs, revealing red rimmed eyes when he lowers his hand. Noctis gives him all the time he needs to consider the offer. Despite nightmares being a common enemy, they didn’t always talk about them. Sometimes they put on cheesy movies instead or talked about the simplest things until neither of them could keep their eyes open. Sometimes they didn’t talk at all. One time they even slow danced in Nyx’s apartment to the chirp of crickets.

Other times they talked about their fears and daemons until the sun rose. They did it the first time Nyx experienced a nightmare like this, and Noct’s prepared to do it all over again if he must.

“I died.” The raspy confession makes his heart sink.

“What?”

Nyx looks away, down to their locked hands and shakes his head. “I was back in the city. Everything was going to hell all over again and I was helpless. I couldn’t save anyone. Not even Libertus or Lunafreya…” he gives Noct’s hand another squeeze. “And then I heard you. You were calling out to me for help, so I ran all the way to Citadel.”

Noctis can see it in his face when their eyes meet again. The worst part’s coming. Nyx takes a deep breath.

“You were at the top of the steps and you looked hurt. I ran as fast as I could, but you kept getting further away…” his voice grows tight. “And then _this voice_ boomed around me. It said that I needed to pay the price. That I needed _to burn_ …” he almost chokes on the word, “and I did. I was on fire and you were screaming… it was the last thing I heard before I woke up.”

“Nyx…”

“I died.”

“No, you didn’t. That wasn’t real.”

“I could feel it! I could… _feel_ myself dying!”

Meanwhile Noctis is certain he can feel his heart breaking. He moves so he sits directly in front of Nyx, taking both hands into his own, looking deep into those pale blues.

Nyx grits his teeth and lowers his head, huffing through his tears. “I didn’t want to leave you behind…”

Noctis leans forward to press a kiss against his sweaty forehead. “Look at me, babe. You didn’t leave me. You went through hell, but you came back to me.” He cradles Nyx’s cheek with his palm. “Feel this? This is real. You’re here. You’re _alive_ and with me. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it.”

This time Noctis is the one wrapping his arms around Nyx, pulling him close and letting a weary head drop on his shoulder. In no time, Nyx is unraveling in his arms, muffling broken noises into his shirt. Noctis guides him to lie back down and cards fingers through mussed strands of hair.

He loves and comforts him till there’s no tears left to shed. Nyx did the same when the subject of his father came up, and now it’s Noctis’ turn to do the same. By the time Nyx is calming down, he appears to be half asleep. His face isn’t hidden away. He’s not sniffling or hyperventilating. He looks peaceful curled up next to him.

Noctis notices a braid tucked behind his ear that should’ve been taken out before bed. He takes great care in undoing it, setting aside the cord entwined in it once he’s done. He then lies flat on his back and checks on Nyx one last time before he tries to sleep.

“Rest, hero. I’ll be right here.”

Nyx makes the softest noise but doesn’t stir.

-

The sun peeks through the balcony’s shutter doors, casting patches of light throughout the room. In the fragile grasp of consciousness, Nyx can hear birds cooing at each other outside and the faint patter of footsteps down the hall. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking through the glare of sunlight in his line of vision.

He takes a deep breath when he’s fully awake. If he wasn’t so lazy, he’d get up and open the balcony doors to see the sky. He’d soak in the beauty of it, clear, crisp and blue opposed to the dreary smog that surrounded him for days. He never did get the chance to appreciate it after he got after the city. He was too busy sweating, and aching, and coping with the aftermath of Insomnia. All that mattered then was getting back to Noct.

_Noct_.

He turns his head to the warm body next to him. Noctis is sound asleep, facing him with arms tucked under his head. His still features are highlighted under the light of morning, exposing him for all that he is: Captivating. The sweetest tranquility. The safest place no matter how many times that face threatened to make his heart erupt. Nyx smiles. He didn’t need to look at the sky just yet. He had all the beauty to appreciate right here.

He didn’t dream again after his nightmare last night. He doesn’t even remember when he fell back asleep. All he remembers is the tears and a comforting hand playing with his hair. Noctis gave him the exact sense of security Nyx always strived to give him. Gods, he didn’t realize how much he missed it.

Nyx brushes Noctis’ fringe aside for a moment, paying close attention as the shadows near his eyes and the bridge of his nose disappear. He’s picture perfect and Nyx is a little mad he doesn’t have his phone on him.

Right when he considers borrowing the phone on the nightstand, Nyx catches a flicker of those pretty blues. He draws his hands back, fighting a chuckle when Noctis flinches at his own hair tickling his skin. The prince groans his way into consciousness, glaring at Nyx between his rapid blinking. It’s incredibly adorable.

“Aw, you’re usually such a heavy sleeper. What the hell?”

Noctis squints at him. “Is there a reason you’re touching my face?”

“Does there need to be? It’s a nice face. Dare I say gorgeous. Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

“Shut up.” Noctis hides his face in his arms, concealing what Nyx is sure is a cherry blush and a bashful grin.

“Hey,” he whispers, invading his personal space to nip at his jaw and ear. He persists more when Noctis tries squirming away from him. “Hey, _psst_!”

“What?!” Noct reveals his face again.

“Morning.” Nyx turns his giggles into happy hums by cupping his face and showering him with sweet, short kisses.

“Morning.” Noctis gives him dreamy smile, eyes still fighting the fuzziness of sleep. “Missed waking up to that.”

“Couldn’t stop thinking about it on the way to Hammerhead. This is all I wanted to come back to.”

“I’m glad you did. Don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t…”

“Lucky for us…” Nyx tucks the hair framing his cheek behind his ear, “we don’t have to think about that. This is all that matters, right?”

Noctis is smiling again, grabbing his wrist before he pulls it away. He presses the back of the palm against his chest. “Yeah, it is. Feeling better today?”

“Much. Everything might still be a mess, but…” he nods. “I’ll be okay. Thanks, Noct.” The kiss to his fingers prompts Nyx to use his other arm to hug Noctis against his chest. “So, what are we doing today?”

“Gotta talk to the guys,” he says, tucking his head under Nyx’s chin. “What time is it? I’m used to ignoring Ignis’ alarm at an ungodly hour.”

Nyx reaches for Noctis’ phone on the nightstand. “It’s almost ten.”

“What?” Noctis lifts his head. “No texts or missed calls? No one knocked on the door?”

“Pretty sure I would’ve heard someone knock. Maybe your friends are being considerate in light of me, well, not being dead.”

“Huh… if that’s true, we might have another hour to kill before someone comes to check on us.”

“Oh really?” Nyx smirks playfully and rolls on top of him. “Do you have any idea how many times I could kiss you in an hour?”

Noctis’ eyes light up with glee and desire, stirring something in Nyx when he bites his lower lip. “Why don’t you show me, hero?”

And Nyx does with undying fervor, feeling more alive than ever in recent days. It’s never been clearer to him than in this moment—this is where he’s meant to be. Not buried under the rubble of Insomnia. Not disintegrating under the break of dawn. He’s only meant to be here, kissing Noctis breathless every morning before they faced the world together. He’d never lose sight of that again.

Every content noise out of Noctis’ mouth elates him, makes him feel lighter and lighter until part of him wonders if they’ve drifted off to another universe. He puts his love into each wandering kiss, muttering sweet nothings against Noctis’ skin to make him shiver. When Nyx finds his way back to his lips, he pauses.

“What?” Noctis asks, using the opportunity to catch his breath. His eyes are curious and beautiful.

Nyx takes hold of his wrist, laying it against the pillows, lacing their hands together. “Just thinking about how lucky I am… how much I love this this… how much I love you.”

“Getting sappy on me again, Ulric?”

“You _love it_.”

“ _I do_ …” Noctis smiles, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Me either, little prince.” Nyx nuzzles the scruff of his beard against Noctis’ neck – just the way he knows he likes it – before meeting his lips again with a tender kiss. “Me either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me every day for the past month in the middle of a nasty rut. I've never been so happy/relieved to finish something ;~; A huge thank you for the kudos and comments that motivated me to not give up on this little thing. You're all wonderful and I hope you enjoyed this <3


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